October 08, 2012


most people have a thought that a beginning in relationship is all about joy fun exciting and bla bla bla and problems only occurs in the middle of the month. but says who we cannot have a good and healthy relationship? simple minded person does! hoho. okay let just sharing something yahh. :') 

#to the beginner who just fall's to a relationship what you need to do is 

1.BUILD! Build a foundation of appreciation and respect. Focus on all the considerate things your partner says and does. Happy couples make a point of noticing even small opportunities to say "thank you" to their partner, rather than focusing on mistakes their partner has made.
- for my relay im happy, i've enjoy it and i'll try to get rid of mistakes and problems with him :')

2.Explore. Explore each other's interests so that you have a long list of things to enjoy together. Try new things together to expand mutual interests.
- we do have a same interest which is we love koreans things, so theres no much different maybe someday we'll explore new things but for now memasing busy tkde masa. kahkah!

3.Establish. Establish a pattern of apologizing if you make a mistake or hurt your partner's feelings. Saying "I'm sorry" may be hard in the moment, but it goes a long way towards healing a rift in a relationship. Your partner will trust you more if he or she knows that you will take responsibility for your words and actions.
- even simple mistake pun memang kitorang suka minta maaf so that wont be a problems, sebb kalau sesiapa pun buat masalah mstilah "maaf" yg dikatakan dulu. huhu kankan?

#what to do when there is a crises arise? woooo :O

1.Timing Counts. Contrary to previous notions, the best time to resolve a conflict may not be immediately. It is not unusual for one or both partners to need some time to cool off. Remember - if you are angry with your partner but don't know what you want yet, it will be nearly impossible for your partner to figure it out!
- Yeppp! cari masa itu penting sgt penting! thats why teha bila marah dia suka senyap. haha 

2.Agree to Disagree and Move On. Most couples will encounter some issues upon which they will never completely agree. Rather than continuing a cycle of repeated fights, agree to disagree and negotiate a compromise or find a way to work around the issue.
- dulu aku suka disagree untk smbung relation sebab aku tak suka masalah. and aku thu bila dh dtg 1 mslh tu mesti dia akan ulang bnyk kali. tapi time pass by kite patut jd pebih matang. thats why skrg bila ada mslh aku lebih prefer diam dr bising tepekik telolong hoho.

3.Discuss One Thing at a Time. It can be tempting to list your concerns or grievances, but doing so will likely prolong an argument. Do your best to keep the focus on resolving one concern at a time.
- diam diam jugakkan. but yes! berbincang tu penting sgt penting! and takau yg always ajak berbincang and aku sgt beruntung dpt dia sebab dia tak macam ex aku yg lain. be with him teach me how to be more maturd in relation. thankyou b :)

4.Really Listen. Being a good listener requires the following: (a) don't interrupt, (b) focus on what your partner is saying rather than on formulating your own response, and (c) check out what you heard your partner say. You might start this process with: "I think you are saying..." Or "what I understood you to say was..." This step alone can prevent misunderstandings that might otherwise develop into a fight.
- well, yes im not a good listener tapi from the time i learn to be a listener first. cuma yang hr tu aku geram sgt dgn takau smpi kan tk nk dgr apa dia cakap. main blah je. tp insyaallah lepas ni i'll try to be a listener first :')

5.Adopt a "Win-Win" Position. A "win-win" stance means that your goal is for the relationship, rather than for either partner, to "win" in a conflict situation. Ask yourself: "Is what I am about to say (or do) going to increase or decrease the odds that we'll work this problem out?"
-wuwohhhh! :O yg ni 100% teha punya perangai! nak menang je kerja. semua pakwe aku ckp mcm tu. hoho nk buat mcm mana. bukan nk menang tp cume bila kte like agressively nk kan kebenaran semua org pk kite nk mng. but NO! NO! NO! okay will reduce this point upon takau. huks! :/

#healthy and problematics in relationhsip

1.Respect Changes. What you want from a relationship in the early months of dating may be quite different from what you want after you have been together for some time. Anticipate that both you and your partner will change over time. Feelings of love and passion change with time, as well. Respecting and valuing these changes is healthy. Love literally changes brain chemistry for the first months of a relationship. For both physiological and emotional reasons, an established relationship will have a more complex and often richer type of passion than a new relationship.
- Bg peluang tu penting. well tak semua org yg pernh buat kesilapan akan ulang bnde yg sme dkt next psgan dia kan. change attitude for better relay is important. takau need change so do i. hopefully this changing is for REAL eh takau! grrr ><

2.Accept Differences. It is difficult, but healthy, to accept that there are some things about our partners that will not change over time, no matter how much we want them to. Unfortunately, there is often an expectation that our partner will change only in the ways we want. We may also hold the unrealistic expectation that our partner will never change from the way he or she is now.
- stiap relay mesti kene ada perbezaan kalau semua bnde sama je. tak best lah kan. and psgn kita tu pulak kene lah trima perbezaan yg ada and hopefully takau will do the same. hewhew :s

3.Express Wants and Needs. While it is easy to assume that your partner knows your wants and needs, this is often not the case and can be the source of much stress in relationships. A healthier approach is to directly express our needs and wishes to our partner.
- errrr, tak sure pulak benda ni ada bincang ke tak dgn takau. hahaha kalau takde hoi b! nanti kene bincang ni penting ni sbrnya! hoho. kalau ada bincang psl bnde ni boleh jugak get rid of certain problems kan kan kan? :D

4.Respect Your Partner's Rights. In healthy relationships, there is respect for each partner's right to have her/his own feelings, friends, activities, and opinions. It is unrealistic to expect or demand that that he or she have the same priorities, goals, and interests as you.
- yaaa takkan nk 24 jam gan bf kan. so couple couple lah life sendiri mesti jalan macam biasa. haha tapi takau tu over sgt! eishhhh b, i tak halang you berkawan. tapi tapi pleasee kurangkan sikit chracter sweet mweet awak tu dgn gegel lain. itew jealous! >< hohor

okay dah cukup! cukup tak? ke nak lagi? nak lagi pandai pndai kau lah cri. heee ni just sharing dr info yang ada and bandingkan dgn apa yg aku ada skrg. well teha need a lot to change. HAR HAR HAR! takau pun sama je ><
tengah tengah update. yayang itew message cakap rindu. atototo lagi semangat nak menaip. hehe

AHMAD RIDZUAN! cepatcepatlah balik. because i'm craving for your hug and laugh b! like seriously :'(

kbye people! much love, tiehaghazalyy

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